Toddlers Bite!

Lately I have been having troubles with my four year old (Chasein) biting. I know biting is a very common behavior among toddlers, which means there are a lot of concerned parents out there.  You are not alone!  The good news is that there is a lot that parents and caregivers can do to reduce and, ultimately, eliminate biting.

Children bite in order to cope with a challenge or fulfill a need.  For example, your child may be biting to express a strong feeling (like frustration), communicate a need for personal space (maybe another child is standing too close) or to satisfy a need for oral stimulation.  Trying your best to understand the underlying cause of the biting will help you develop an effective response.  This makes it more likely that you will be successful in eliminating the behavior.

Kids bite for a number of reasons, and most of them aren't intentionally malicious.

·         They're in pain. When babies bite, typically it's because they're teething. They're just doing it to relieve the pain of their swollen, tender gums.

·         They're exploring their world. Very young children use their mouths to explore, just as they use their hands. Just about everything infants or toddlers pick up eventually winds up in their mouths. Kids this age aren't yet able to prevent themselves from biting the object of their interest.

·         They're looking for a reaction. Part of exploration is curiosity. Toddlers experiment to see what kind of reaction their actions will provoke. They'll bite down on a friend or sibling to hear the surprised exclamation, not realizing how painful the experience is for that person.

·         They're craving attention. In older kids, biting is just one of several bad behaviors used to get attention. When a child feels ignored, discipline is at least one way of getting noticed -- even if the attention is negative rather than positive.

·         They're frustrated. Biting, like hitting, is a way for some children to assert themselves when they're still too young to express feelings effectively through words. To your child, biting is a way to get back a favorite toy, tell you that he or she is unhappy, or let another child know that he or she wants to be left alone.

I think Chasein bites because he gets mad, annoyed and frustrated. Lately we have been putting him in time out more often and it seems like almost anything we do doesn’t seem to help. When he has his mind set on something he will do whatever he can do to finish the task he has created in his mind… Even if its biting, hitting, screaming or trying to get out of his room when he’s in a time out.

How to stop the biting? You have to practice prevention so that your child will be less likely to bite in the first place.

·         If your child is teething, make sure to always have a cool teething ring or washcloth on hand so he or she will be less likely to sink teeth into someone's arm.

·         Avoid situations in which your child can get irritable enough to bite. Make sure that all of your child's needs -- including eating and nap time -- are taken care of before you go out to play. Bring along a snack to soothe your child if he or she gets cranky from being hungry.

·         As soon as your child is old enough, encourage the use of words ("I'm angry with you" or "That's my toy") instead of biting. Other ways to express frustration or anger include hugging a stuffed animal or punching a pillow. Sometimes, shortening activities or giving your child a break can help prevent the rising frustration that can lead to biting and other bad behaviors.

·         Give your child enough of your time throughout the day (for example, by reading or playing together), so he or she doesn't bite just to get attention. Extra attention is especially important when your child is going through a major life change, such as a move or welcoming a baby sibling. If your child is prone to biting, keep an eye on any playmates and step in when an altercation appears to be brewing.

The thing is we have tried everything and nothing seems to work. Some people have said to us that Chasein is spoiled, but the thing is he’s not.

According to WebMD, “if you are spoiling your children, you’ll know it. They’re rude to you and other adults. They won’t share with other children. They will act bossy and demand to be first in line. They don’t answer your questions and ignore your instructions. If you deny them a new toy or treat, you’ll face a tempest of crying, howling, and little fists pounding the floor.”

I’m sorry WebMD, but you can be wrong! Chasein was an only child in the house for a little while and as soon as he figured out that I was pregnant with Riyker he started acting out. It’s called jealousy! It happens more than people think. But I know some way or another the biting has to stop!